Here’s another question for y’all–I was asked this by a very good friend, who apparently is in need of a thorough fucking (I’m paraphrasing): In a long-term relationship, wherein one party wants sex a lot more often than the other party, at what point does going outside the relationship become not only feasible, but acceptable?
Although I have run into this in my own relationships (from both sides of the equation)–each situation is very different and could be rooted in medical problems and/or psychological problems. Those should be checked out by a doctor, btw. Consider that your most-obvious pro tip ever.
Let’s face it, by a certain age, a lot of women are warming up as men, typically, are slowing down. It sucks, but it does have its basis in our biology. I can’t really speak to that because I’m not a doctor and the doctor that I tried to ask about it snapped at me and told me to go sit in my room and not bother him. Snappish-ness tends to be his natural state of being–so, I’m not too bothered by it. But yeah, I need to find another doctor to ask about these things because his attitude is a real bummer and not at all helpful in the least.
I guess where I’m going with this is as follows: I totally agree with Dan Savage when he said that one person should not be able to hold the sexual health of the relationship hostage. Harsh? Maybe–but consent is EVERYTHING. If one partner doesn’t consent to sex very often, and won’t work on communicating his/her reasons for it, s/he should not be surprised, or even angry, when the other partner goes elsewhere for sexual gratification. Easier said than done–believe me, I know. But what other choice is there? If s/he won’t consent to sex and won’t communicate why that is or what can be done to fix it–then, in my opinion, the other partner should be free to look elsewhere for sexual gratification without guilt. xo
ealvfargond 