So tonight, my friends, I am going to get a bit serious–well, more serious than usual–because tonight, tonight will be about a truth that I seldom talk about in a narrative way. Most of you have bits and pieces of the story of my marriage–but very few of you know the down and dirty details.
Legal Disclaimer: It is important to note that these details are a reflection of my opinions regarding the recollection of events that happened over the course of my marriage. This is a matter of my opinion. Truth is a defense to liable and so is opinion.
Tonight, during dinner, I had noticed an envelope on the table and the handwriting on it made me sick with just one glance–it was from my ex husband. As my dad was droning on about his ridiculous right-wing nonsense, I asked my mom what the letter and card said–and she told me the basics–that he was claiming to be disabled due to his stint in the military and that he was trying to sue the school district which employs him. I really don’t know what that means or why he’s doing it, but he is a litigious person (IMHO), so it wasn’t too surprising. All of this is pretty ordinary for him–school must be out for summer, so he has all kinds of free time on his hands.
My main concern is that he does not journey west to here. He has threatened that a few times–but his family lives in the Twin Cities area, so I live in fear that he will turn up on my parents’ door step. Ordinarily, it wouldn’t be that terrible–they’d kick him out–but I am living here now–and it would be very bad if he were to find me. You see, he knows that I’m out here, in ND, somewhere. But he doesn’t know how to find me–and that is what has kept me safe.
This will be sufficiently short as to not really go too deeply into the abuse dynamic in my former marriage (that’s for another post)–but I can say that I honestly have lost track of how many times during the course of the marriage that I was forced to have sex with him against my will. He also killed my dog when I left–to get back at me. He is, in my humble opinion (IMHO), a monster. He has pointed loaded guns at me on a number of occasions and has threatened my life in very graphic, well-thought out ways. I am afraid of him–and I don’t want to die. I didn’t live through all of that business with my heart to be killed by this clown. This time, I will fight back. But again, I get to spend another summer living in fear. My BP is already showing it–170/90 tonight. I will never be rid of this guy. I have accepted that. But I will, upon learning of his death someday, be the happiest woman alive. xo
ealvfargond 