So, you guys may remember a post that I did a while back wherein I mentioned that I was doing a little experiment regarding anonymity and misogyny online. My interest is in how the anonymous environment online makes behaving in an abusive and misogynistic way not only easier, but also somewhat acceptable (and to a lesser extent, expected), given the norms and mores demonstrated by multiple popular sites and demonstrated by the hostility in the comments that follow articles and blogs written especially by female authors. If this were an actual academic paper, I would include all sorts of references that back up my claims–but in this form, not so much. Due to the number of correspondences with Joe, his story will take more than one part. Okay, y’all, ready to meet, Joe?
I met Joe on an app called, Whisper. This app allows users a great deal of anonymity to post pretty much anything they’d like. Joe responded to a post that I made specifically for this project that asked for anonymous sexual partners. All of our correspondence took place within the Whisper app.
I never met Joe in person, but am still in sporadic contact with him. There is something endearing about this guy despite the fact that he was basically an asshole most of the time. He was very child-like in that he acted petulantly when he was told no and he behaved as though a child would when not given his way, most notably when I refused to send the pictures that he kept requesting. Eventually, I located suitable photos to “borrow” and sent those rather than send pictures of my own body parts. My deepest apologies if they were yours. You should probably try to get those taken down though. Just sayin’.
It took a whole bunch of doing, but Joe told me that he lives near Minneapolis in a house with his wife and new-ish child. He said that he is 30 years old and works as an accountant. I question the veracity of his answers for the very obvious reason that we were chatting on an anonymous sex site. Aside from that, I find it strange that an employed accountant would be home in the middle of the afternoon on a weekday.
Joe informed me that he was planning on being in the FM the following weekend and that we should meet up at his hotel. I agreed to that. The other negotiations of this meet-up were much more difficult–this is where his whiny, bratty entitled behavior really shined. Before ending our conversation, I was persuaded to tell him an erotic “bed-time story” for the obvious reason. Whatever. Writing erotica for this purpose is really very easy (IMHO) and it requires little to no plot and little to no character development. You can probably imagine the minimal dialogue for yourselves.
Despite this being, basically, the written version of a porn clip, Joe took care of himself within the first, um…, interlude in my improv-ed little story. Poor chap never ever got his pants all the way off in the scene. I didn’t say so, but I suspect that this may underlie, at least in part, his inability to get any from his wife (so he claims). It’s been my experience that the worse the male lover is, the more he perceives his female partner as frigid. As his preferences across the board indicate–Joe didn’t really “get” the concept of foreplay. Joe’s idea of foreplay involved forcible digital penetration both anally and vaginally and forcibly performing oral sex on his female partner (victim?). Now, I understand that this is being presented in the realm of fantasy–an interactive story. But it is rather telling that when asked about details, he described the foreplay acts with great specificity. I could be wrong, but it was much different than the broad, general descriptions that he gave when talking about pure fantasy–which led me to believe that he probably uses these exact foreplay moves in his regular life. It never occurs to these guys that maybe getting freaky with Mr. Minute isn’t really worth the effort for the ladies. Just an observation. Something tells me that his wife (and new mother of his kid) just can’t rally after no sleep and a crying infant if it means being roughly prodded at for a minute or two, tops, and then dry penetrated. Can you blame her?
**The is the end of the first part of Joe’s story. Part two will be up soon. Thanks for reading! xo
ealvfargond 